It is proper etiquette that you provide your wedding professional with a meal if they have worked more than 5-6 hours and will be present during the time when dinner is served on the day of your wedding. Why? They do not have time to go out and grab a bite to eat during your wedding day, and trust me; you do not want them to leave to eat!
Who to feed?
You may have up to 2-3 wedding planners, 2 photographers, and 1-2 videographers that have been with you for the entire day. In addition to offering to feed all of them, it is also etiquette to invite your officiant to eat.
It gets trickier with entertainment, but you should use the “hour rule.” The DJ or band is typically there for 4-5 hours and you do not have to feed them. Most couples do offer to feed the DJ and some will decline. Also, some DJ’s have an assistant to consider as well. So for this one there is really no hard and fast rule, and is left up to you. Also check their contracts as bands many times require food and beverage in their agreement.. Since they have not worked more then 5-6 hours and there could be up to 12 members of a band, you can get by with lighter fare.
What to feed them? A hot meal is appropriate for those vendors that work over 6 hours at your wedding.. It can be the least expensive hot meal on the menu but a sandwich or deli platter does not cut it for working 8-10 hours on the wedding day. For vendors that work less than 6 hours, such as a DJ or Band, you are fine to go with the Deli Platter or boxed sandwiches. This expense should be figured in up front in the wedding budget.
Where should they eat?
The best option for you is if to put your wedding professionals in the same room with your guests at a vendor table. This allows them to constantly view what is happening during dinner and able to react- whether it is a spontaneous toast that needs to be captured, or an incident that a planner would need to react to immediately. If there is a space or an expense issue, then put them in a room that is as close to the guests as possible. They will still be up and down during the meal to check in but this is not desirable as being in the same room. I can list many things that have happened during wedding dinners that I was able to catch and react to because I was right there. A band should be in a side room since they will be probably be eating at different times. Again, the closer the room the better in case we need them back quickly from break for any reason. The DJ should eat with the other vendors in the room. The officiant is usually seated at a family table.
When should they eat?
It is important that vendors are not fed last, because by the time the vendors are able to eat, it is usually about the time your post dinner events begin to happen. Typically the bride and groom are finished eating by the time food comes for the vendors but that is when the vendors need to be up and ready to work. Rule of thumb is that vendors should be fed immediately after the bride and groom - to allow them to eat quickly and be back to work by the time most of the guests have finished eating. This needs to be stressed to your caterer – most caterers think the vendors are to eat last. By specifying to your caterer the importance and reasoning behind the vendors eating early, you can potentially avoid problems in the post dinner timeframe. Bands and DJs must eat during breaks or when they are able - which is another reason for it easier for it to be a cold meal.
Drinks
Unlimited water or soda for your vendors throughout the night is the etiquette. Alcohol should not be allowed under any circumstance for your wedding professionals while they are working. They are on the clock for you and must perform at their best. In my opinion this includes a band. Again you need to look at your contracts to see what is required but I would question any band that had to have alcohol to perform at one of the most important days of your life!
Keep your wedding professionals happy and they tend to work longer and harder for you!
by Jamie M Rapavy, Owner of Devoted to Details, LLC, Wedding Professionals of Columbus, and Columbus Bride and Groom.
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5 comments:
Thank you for posting this. It's something that a lot of couples ask about.
Great article with realistic guidelines.
I love this! Thank you for taking the time to explain and educate. Many couples have never done anything like this before so it helps so much to have this.
I think the guidelines are realistic to a point. Brides & Grooms should always serve their entertainemnt. (Band, DJ...whatever). Just because the bride only pays for 4/5/6 hours of service does not mean the load in time, set up and teardown should not be counted as well in their "Services" - I'm a DJ in Cleveland and every event that I do takes a good 10 hours of my time. Food is always written into my contracts a a must.
Thanks for sharing this information and wish it will help me in arranging my next event. I am arranging my sister’s ring ceremony at one of exquisite wedding venues Los Angeles. Planning to hire an amazing caterer for this event and hope to have great time.
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